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We all have the right to complain ... And each one complains about what they want (and what they can). And more during motherhood. And it is that being a mother has its good things: enjoying the company of your children, laughing with what they tell you, becoming the guide of a new little person ... But it also has some bad things. And you are more tired, you go through very complicated moments, you expose yourself to extreme situations ... That's why, You will never need a good friend as much as when you are a mother. Unburdening yourself will become a vital need for you.
At school, friends represent those people with whom you share games; during adolescence, those who accompany you in the discovery of the ‘world of adults’; in youth, your party buddies and laughing allies. And when are you a mother?
In motherhood, having a good friend is synonymous with being able to vent. To be able to remove that little monster that is growing day by day within you, often due to stress and the new situation you face. To tell how terrible your life is sometimes, to let go of everything ... And then stay as new. And there is nothing more therapeutic than a chat between friends with a cup of coffee in front of them. The world could be fixed!
Each one, at every moment, has a different drama: that the house is too messy, that your partner does not understand you, that the children do not stop crying, that at work they do not help you to reconcile ... Talk about all this in voice high helps you to put your head in order, to vent, to realize that this drama is fleeting, that you can fight with everything and against everything, that you have superpowers.
This liberation that you feel when you talk about what has you unhinged has a scientific reason. According to a study carried out a few years ago at the Université Catholique de Louvain, expressing aloud what causes us stress reduces cortisol levels, a hormone related to stress. What a shock it feels!
But, in addition to letting off steam, having a good friend during pregnancy and once your little ones are born has other advantages.
1 Gives you advice
How to be more patient with children? How to get them to eat everything? Based on her experience, your friend can give you some advice that has worked for her with her children. And, in the end, mother tricks are often the most useful. At least they are proven.
2 You feel heard
Sometimes moms feel a bit lonely and misunderstood. But, although I cannot give you any advice, when your friend listens to you, you feel more accompanied. You are not alone!
3 You realize that what happens to you is not so strange
With the stories that your friend tells you about her motherhood and her family, you realize that what happens to you is not so serious and, more importantly, you are not the only person in the world who suffers it. But remember, comparisons are always hateful!
4 You have an excuse to leave home
Looking for plans outside the home is important for the mother's mental health. In fact, there are experts who recommend that all mothers go on vacation without children at least once a year. Why not meet your friend?
5 You take care of your personal life as well as your family life
Moms sometimes get so involved in their family that they forget to take care of themselves. Having a friend will help you preserve a part of the life you had before you became a mother: your own life.
6 You practice empathy
In this world of rush and stress in which we live on a daily basis, sometimes we do not find a moment to put ourselves in the shoes of the people around us. However, these friendships require an exercise in empathy, a value that we must preserve and, of course, promote among our children.
7 It is good for your baby's health during pregnancy
And last but not least, having friends is good for the pregnant mother, but also good for the baby. And it is that, when a mother lets off steam, she reduces her stress, which translates into great benefits for the child's health. When a pregnant woman is stressed, the blood flow to the baby is reduced, which can end up affecting the baby.
Do you already have one of these friends to vent? Often times, they become the recipients of your sorrows, they are not the people you always imagined they would be. Those good friends are often acquaintances that suddenly become your friends, the mothers of your children's friends, a distant cousin who is going through the process of becoming a mother at the same time as you.
And it is that, although it is not a completely essential requirement, we often look for other women who become pregnant at the same time as us or who have children at the same ages. In the end, what we are looking for is that they understand us, that they have a little empathy with us. And who is going to understand us better than anyone? That mommy who is in the most similar situation to ours.
And these acquaintances who become our best friends go on to play a very important role in our lives. So much so, that it is common for the relationship that is established to last for a lifetime.
By the way, surely you are also that friend with whom other moms vent. And, to fulfill your role well, you have to develop a new skill (if you haven't practiced it enough yet): knowing how to listen. That's all the mom in front of you needs from you.
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