We all had to face some mockery as children or adolescents. We know that these are difficult situations to handle that can have a negative impact on the way a person sees themselves. There are those who have better resources to deal with them and who, on the contrary, react so badly that they only make the situation more complicated. Therefore, below we propose some practical tricks to teach your children to handle teasing in an effective way so you don't suffer with them.
Some teasing is not bad; some make everyone laugh, including the recipient and in this case are part of the process of developing social skills that allow us to interact appropriately with others. There are other jokes, however, that seek to cause harm and make you feel bad And it is in these types of situations where our children must have resources to draw on.
It is important that our children know that the main reasons someone teases They are:
- Seeking attention.
- Feelings of superiority and power.
- Search for acceptance of colleagues.
- Lack of understanding of differences.
Knowing this, it is easier not to take them so personally.
If our son tells us that he was the victim of a tease, it is necessary to listen carefully, ask him to describe the situation well and know how long it has been happening.
It is important:
- Keep ourselves objectives
Don't underestimate his feelings about it, but don't overreact and generate even more negative feelings in him.
- Give you security
Pass on the 'You can handle it' message.
- Encourage him to be with those colleagues who make him feel good and not bad
Many children or even young people seek acceptance and the right company of those who annoy them the most and who make them feel the worst. We must remind them that this situation will probably not change and that it is better to surround yourself with someone who respects them and treats them well.
- Are we setting a good example?
It is convenient to review the model that we are giving you to react to the ridicule and check if we at home are not generating a similar situation. It is much more frequent than we can imagine that parents continually tease their children thinking that it is funny or trying to point out a weakness.
Below I detail some of the tricks to consider to teach children how to react when they are teased.
1. Talk to yourself
Encourage him to talk to himself when someone is teasing him with messages such as: 'Even though I don't like this tease, I can handle it', 'Well, it's true that I'm not good at soccer, but I'm very good at math', ' I'm not going to let this make me feel bad, 'etc.
Crying or getting upset only keeps the one making fun of it; That is why one of the best reactions to teaching our child is not to show any reaction to the tease (neither look nor respond). Pretend that whoever is bothering you is 'invisible' and act as if nothing is happening; if possible, walk away.
Of course this is not effective in those situations that are repetitive.
3. Set limits
This strategy works especially when the teasing person is a 'friend' (or someone with whom you initially get along) who finds it very funny and thinks the two of you are having fun.
It is important to teach your child to make eye contact and with a firm tone of voice express that he does not like how the joke is making him feel and ask him to stop: 'I do not like that you make fun of my glasses, please do not do more. '
It consists of helping him make some funny visualization that he can put into practice when a joke is thrown at him, such as imagining that the joke is a 'bouncing ball', that has a 'protective shield' that does not allow it to pass through or 'slip' 'as if they had soap.
5. Agree with the facts
This is one of the simplest and most effective ways to handle a joke. Example: The answer to 'Freckled' may be 'yes, you are right I have a lot of freckles' or to 'You are a crybaby', 'yes, I cry easily'. Responding in this way usually leaves the mocker unarmed.
It is a simple but effective answer.
7. Respond to the mocker with a compliment
For example, if a child makes fun of another because he runs very slow, he could answer 'you do run fast' or 'I would like to run like you'. This type of response creates confusion and removes any new argument from the 'nuisance'.
8. Use humor
Humor is always a good way to handle any situation because it downplays it and can turn a hurtful situation into something much lighter.
9. Request help
If there is a teasing situation repeating itself continuously or with highly offensive content, it is necessary for the child to know that he should ask for help from an adult he trusts.
A tease turns into bullying when it is repeated continuously, if there are threats or physical violence and if there is an imbalance of power (stronger, more popular, higher, etc.). It is necessary to stay close and detect any situation that begins to cross this line to intervene. In these cases it is always advisable to approach the school and work together to put an end to the situation.
Finally, it is important to teach our children that 'although it is not possible to control what happens outside and what others do, they have the power to control their own responses and reactions' and that's a great power.Source: ERIC DIGEST. February 2000
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